


I'm Here

by ShadowsDaughter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Drabble, Episode: s11e07 Plush, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-20
Updated: 2015-11-20
Packaged: 2018-05-02 11:46:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5247113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowsDaughter/pseuds/ShadowsDaughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a one-shot inspired by 11x07 and all the crap that was being posted about Dean being an asshole pretty much.</p>
<p>
  <em>Dean cares, a lot, and the fear of losing Sam is too much.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Here

Dean didn’t what to do with the emotions bubbling up inside of him. He tried to lock it down, tried to not let it show. He made some flippant comments and some crude jokes as they made their way back to the bunker, trying to help the hours pass by, but his heart hurt more than it had in a long time. When they got back to the bunker, he said he needed a shower and walked away, ignoring Sam calling his name. Was it not obvious he was about to break? 

He managed to get into the bathroom, strip, and turn on the water before the tears started to fall. Then his chest started to heave. Then the sobs escaped his mouth. Oh, he tried to quiet them, tried to keep a hand on his mouth, but sadly, it didn’t work. 

He didn’t hear Sam come in, didn’t hear his clothes hitting the ground, didn’t hear his footsteps but he felt it when Sam slid his arms around Dean’s waist from behind. Dean didn’t even jump, too lost in his emotions. Anger and fear were battling it out, trying to take over his body and it seemed like neither would win anytime soon.

“I’m here, Dean. I’m here,” Sam whispered against his ear, voice soft, breath hot. Dean had had his hands on the wall to help keep him up but now he latched onto Sam’s arms around him and leaned his weight into Sam, knowing his brother could handle it. Sam said some more assurances, placed soft kisses on Dean’s shoulder, but he didn’t demand answers. He just let his big brother cry. Dean was thankful for his patience. 

Finally the tears slowed a bit and he felt like he could breathe again.

“S-Sam,” he managed to get out and tightened his grip on Sam’s arms. There would probably be bruises tomorrow. 

“Right here,” Sam said right away.

“I can’t, I can’t lose you,” Dean managed to choke out and felt Sam tense before the arms tightened around him. 

“You won’t, Dean,” Sam promised but they both knew what could happen. Fate seemed to always be against them.

“It would be one thing if you-if you just....died, ya know? But the cage?” Dean flinched, eyes slamming shut. He was cold despite the hot water pounding down on them. Flashes of Alastair and nameless other demons that tortured him ran through his mind. God, Hell had been...Hell for him. He couldn’t imagine how bad the cage had been for Sam locked up with Michael and Lucifer. 

“I-I could be wrong, Dean. Maybe you’re right and this isn’t from God, maybe this is just some PTSD thing or something,” Sam said but it didn’t sound like he believed it. Dean appreciated the effort, though. Dean turned in his brother’s arms so he could see Sam’s face and was met with teary eyes and tear stained cheeks. “I don’t want to lose you, either, Dean.”

“I know,” Dean whispered and leaned up a bit to press a kiss to Sam’s lips. It was soft, chaste, but it made the ache in his chest settle a bit. 

“I love you,” Sam whispered against Dean’s lips, voice wobbly. 

“I love you, too, Sammy,” Dean replied as Sam rested his forehead against Dean’s. 

Dean wasn’t sure how long they stood there, staring into each other’s eyes, but as the minutes passed, the weight on their souls seemed to lighten and the anger and fear was swept away by love.


End file.
